Zombie Apocalypse 2012

As most of you well know, the rising star in news as of the last three days (besides Paris Hilton's death, which anyone has yet to really confirm) is this 'zombie apocalypse' that's happening. I've been stewing on it, and I haven't written in a while, so while I'm off work and sitting at home, drinking a nice cold beer, I'm going to sit out and throw you a timeline.

Now most of the timelines online are the same, and as of this date, I will add the last one just to complete it. I've pulled various timelines, but this one seems to be the most complete and the one with actual sources attached to it.

1. -4/30: Homeland Security To Test Biological Sensors In MBTA Tunnels http://boston.cbslocal.com/2012/04/30/homeland-security-to-test-biological-sensors-in-mbta-tunnels/
3. -5/3: Mad-cow Testing Equipment Nabbed by Thieves
4. http://www.hispanicbusiness.com/2012/5/16/madcow_testing_equipment_nabbed_by_thieves.htm
6. -5/3: Stolen medical equipment may carry deadly brain disease
7. http://www.cfnews13.com/content/news/cfnews13/news/article.html/content/news/articles/cfn/2012/5/17/
8. stolen_medical_equip.html
10. -5/4: Atlanta man bitten by rabid bat
11. http://www.ajc.com/news/man-bitten-by-rabid-1431464.html
13. -5/4: A man’s illness could have been transmitted by BSE
14. http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/taiwan/archives/2012/05/05/2003532065
16. -5/7, about the same cow as seen on 5/18 and without referencing the above: Atypical BSE Has Never Led To Human vCJD - But Could It?
17. http://www.foodsafetynews.com/2012/05/atypical-bse-has-never-led-to-human-vcjd-but-could-it/
19. -5/9: Fox attacked Morganton, Ga., woman, tested positive for rabies
20. http://timesfreepress.com/news/2012/may/09/fox-attacked-morganton-ga-woman-tested-positive-ra/?break
21. ingnews
23. -5/11: Suspected human rabies exposures surge in Palm Beach, FL
24. http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/2012-05-11/health/fl-palm-rabies-exposures-20120510_1_rabies-vaccin
25. ations-animal-care-control-dave-walesky
27. -5/14: North Georgia officials warn residents of rabies increase
28. http://www.wrcbtv.com/story/18385795/north-georgia-officials-warn-residents-of-rabies-increase
30. -5/15: Florida Raccoon Tested Positive for Rabies
31. http://www.wtvy.com/home/headlines/Florida_Raccoon_Tested_Positive_for_Rabies_151641535.html
33. -5/16: McArthur High School HazMat Situation: Students, Teachers Decontaminated After Breaking Out In Rash
34. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/16/mcarthur-high-school-contamination_n_1521764.html
36. -5/16: Clinical Data Published for a Phase I AADC-deficiency Trial Using a Gene Therapy Manufactured by Florida Biologix
37. http://www.marketwatch.com/story/clinical-data-published-for-a-phase-i-aadc-deficiency-trial-using-a
38. -gene-therapy-manufactured-by-florida-biologix-2012-05-16
40. -5/16: Children with rare, incurable brain disease improve after gene therapy
41. http://news.ufl.edu/2012/05/16/gene/
43. -5/16: Gene Therapy for Brain Disease: Delivering a missing enzyme to the brains of paralyzed children with a rare, life-threatening neurological disease restores movement and builds muscle mass.
44. http://the-scientist.com/2012/05/16/gene-therapy-for-brain-disease/
46. -5/16: FBI Agent fleeing massive manhunt. Warns "they're all insane."
47. http://www.eutimes.net/2012/05/fbi-agent-fleeing-massive-manhunt-warns-theyre-all-insane/
49. -5/17: Polk Co., FL confirms 6th positive rabies case after 2 dogs found with dead raccoon
50. http://www.therepublic.com/view/story/2b01b9048f9e47729d913dac88fca1d2/FL--Rabies-Polk-County/
52. -5/17: Rabies alert issued in Suwannee County, FL
53. http://suwanneedemocrat.com/local/x234161220/Rabies-alert-issued-in-Suwannee-County
55. -5/17, after Taiwanese man (referenced in 5/4) contracts human mad cow disease: Florida Biologix helps Taiwan University Hospital achieve manufacturing objectives
56. http://manufacturing.pharmaceutical-business-review.com/news/florida-biologix-helps-taiwan-universit
57. y-hospital-achieve-manufacturing-objectives-170512
59. -5/18, in Washington: Review so far shows mad cow case was atypical
60. http://wtaq.com/news/articles/2012/may/18/review-so-far-shows-mad-cow-case-was-atypical/
62. -5/19: No confirmation on chemical at Fort Lauderdale International Airport
63. http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/terminal-2-evacuated-at-fort-lauderdale-airport-in-hazmat-scare
65. -5/21: Police: Man bites woman in Westchester
66. http://www.mysuburbanlife.com/westchester/newsnow/x639948018/Police-Man-bites-woman-in-Westchester
68. -5/21: Third case of flesh-eating disease diagnosed in Ga.
69. http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/third-case-flesh-eating-disease-diagnosed-ga/nPBPG/
71. -5/21: 24 people treated after Dalton, GA chemical release
72. http://www.wtvm.com/story/18571497/24-people-treated-after-dalton-chemical-release
74. -5/23: I-285 reopens after hazmat incident
75. http://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html
77. -5/23: Man Bites Cousin's Nose Off
78. http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Man-Bites-Cousins-Nose-Off-153100125.html
80. -5/24: Second Broward school reports mystery rash
81. http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/24/2815003/second-broward-school-reports.html
83. -5/25: Hazmat Called After Kids Exposed To Pesticide On Bus: Hazmat, EMS Respond To Lake County, FL School
84. http://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html
86. -5/25: 'Disoriented' passenger subdued on flight in Miami
87. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/25/passenger-restrained-on-flight-to-miami-arrested/
89. -5/25: Man Rushes Cockpit Unexpectedly/Without Reason of Plane After Landing in Florida
90. http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/25/passenger-restrained-on-flight-to-miami-arrested/
92. -5/26: Naked Man Allegedly Eating Victim's Face Shot And Killed By Miami Police
93. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/26/naked-man-eating-victims-face-killed-miami_n_1548359.html
95. -5/26: Florida Doctor Spits Blood at Highway Patrolmen After DUI Arrest
96. http://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-doctor-spits-blood-troopers-face-dui-arrest/story?id=16436402
98. -5/26 A man shoots civilians from the roof, not knowing why
99. http://www.hs.fi/english/article/Hyvink%C3%A4%C3%A4+shootings+Gunman+shows+remorse+policewoman+still +not+out+of+danger/1329104221628
101. -5/27: Georgia contractor bites Lowe's employees, resists arrest
102. http://columbus.wtvm.com/news/crime/54763-contractor-bites-lowes-employees-resists-arrest
104. -5/27: North Broward boil-water notice in effect through Monday
105. http://www.sun-sentinel.com/fl-boil-water-sunday-brf-20120527,0,7437699.story
107. -5/28: Group urges halt of U.S. beef imports due to 'L-type' human mad cow disease
108. http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/taiwan/archives/2012/05/28/2003533928
110. -5/29: Man stabs himself, throws skin and intestines at police officers
      http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/jersey-man-stabbed-threw-skin-intestines-cops-authorities-a
111. rticle-1.1086266
113. -5/29: Hazardous materials released at Institute for Genomic Biology. Escape area if safe to do so. Otherwise seek shelter. https://twitter.com/IlliniAlert/status/207309505611051009
115. -5/29: Florida man Angel Vega Roman bit lips off kitten, police allege
116. http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/346543/20120529/angel-vega-roman-kitten-cat-bit-lips.htm
      Now, I've read through almost all of these, and I have to admit, it sounds like a sure-fire case of paranoia and mass hysteria. What it sounds like is that we're all trying to grasp at any sort of 'timeline' so to speak, to show that what we believe is really happening.
     Thing is, most of this insane crap happens every day and we go about our daily lives (because we're not trying to CREATE anything out of it). 
     
     
     Now the HAZMAT incidents are pretty weird as well as the Mad Cow Disease; in which I would possibly say we have a small pandemic on our hands (what is a small pandemic you say? I don't know. A pandemic...that's small.)
     I just want to clear things up before there's mass hysteria, because at the current moment I'm surprised that NO ONE is relating this 'apocalypse' to the '2012 Mayan Calendar' thing. (Which now, everyone probably will.)
     
     The only reason I'm posting about this is because that today, June 1, 2012, the CDC stated that ZOMBIES DO NOT EXIST.
     
     When I heard that my eyebrow raised and all I could say was 'huh...'. For some reason, as much as I want to say that we're all freaking out for no fucking reason, I feel that we may have some sort of dilemma on our hands. I don't know how small or how big, because at the current moment I can't really place my finger on it.
     
     Remember how I wrote in an earlier post about how some states have 'Zombie Evacuation' plans and what not? The CDC was the one who started them, saying that 'if you're ready for a zombie apocalypse, you're ready for a hurricane or pandemic.'
     
     I smell bullshit.
     
     I'll keep you posted this weekend about what's going on, not to mention maybe a video or two coming this Sunday.
     
     I'm going to work my ass off to see what's real and what's faked. (No pun intended.)
     
     
     Stay alive out there, things are getting weird.
     
     

     BRAIN
     TIMELINE TAKEN FROM:  http://pastebin.com/JyEbNgdC